Commemorating a big day

It seems like I should do something to commemorate this day, because in my mind it was momentous. Today, I submitted a letter saying my last day at work would be April 30. It has taken me a long time to come to this point, deciding that it is time to leave a career that I've held for over 30 years and move into different stage of my life. But it has gone from feeling like a big loss to feeling like the right thing to do, and I'm happy about that. And even though the people at work have said they want me to work from home during May, I still feel like it's time to move on.

God has played a big role in helping me get to this point. He has worked through friends in my book group and my small group, as well as people in my church. Even a friend at work has contributed to my getting to this decision..

I thought about calling various friends tonight. Maybe I should have because I know that I tend to be more solitary than I should. But I do plan to see a lot of my friends tomorrow night at a dinner, so it seemed okay to be alone tonight, since Ron is out of town, just digesting things.

It's kind of exciting to think about what may be in store for me during this next, final stage of my life. I've heard them talk on the radio about people in "encore" careers. I think that's a neat way to think about it. I do think that God has something else that I do intend to do before I go to be with Him. Hopefully I'm through with so many of the mistakes I made in the earlier part of my life. I wish that I was more capable of contributing, but I think that my limitations have helped me lose the pride that was so damaging. Maybe it has been me a better person, better equipped to do God's will.

The Twenty-Third Chapter -- Thoughts on Death

"The present is very precious; these are the days of salvation; now is the acceptable time."

"Ah, foolish man, why do you plan to live long when you are not sure of living even a day? How many have been deceived and suddenly snatched away! How often have you heard of persons being killed by drownings, by fatal falls from high places, of persons dying at meals, at play, in fires, by the sword, in pestilence, or at the hands of robbers! Death is the end of everyone and the life of man quickly passes away like a shadow."

The Imitation of Christ

I am reading a chapter of the book The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis each night before bed. I originally decided to do this because I was used to reading a devotional before bed and I didn't have one. It has been delightful to discover that this book is so profound and so useful. Also, I just learned that Agatha Christie's heroine, Miss Marple, also did this -- kind of a neat person to pattern myself after (even though she's fictitious).

To get the most out of the book, I decided to choose a passage that meant the most to me in the reading that night. Here are some of the highlighted selections in my thoughts about them:

Many words do not satisfy the soul; but a good life eases the mind and a clean conscience inspires great trust in God.
Kind of cautionary concerning writing, isn't it

A good and devout man arranges in his mind the things he has to do, not according to the whims of evil inclination but according to the dictates of right reason.
Make sure you always follow the Word rather than your feelings.

For very often, sad to say, we are so weak that we believe and speak evil of others rather than good.
Well okay...

An unmortified man is quickly tempted and overcome in small, trifling evils; his spirit is weak, in a measure carnal and inclined to sensual things; he can hardly abstain from earthly desires.
My version says the man “weak in spirit … can hardly withdraw himself altogether from earthly desires.” I am very weak, but there is hope.
True peace of heart, then, is found in resisting passions, not in satisfying them.

Enough for now. It is ennobling to read and think about these things.

My next project

On Wednesday, I spoke to what I think will be the last group that selected my book to read this month. It was a group of retired teachers and they seem very engaged. Another highlight was speaking to the Sangamo Club Literary Circle two weeks ago. But now it's time to go on to something else.

For my next project, I had decided that I would write a historical fiction novel based on the Sangamon Ordnance Plant during World War II. My friend, Twila, had worked at the plant during the war, and I went with my mom last summer to visit what's left east of Illiopolis. The underground bunkers covered with grass really captured my imagination, but I have this niggling fear that there may not be enough material to make a book. Since Twila has gone to a nursing home, I really haven't been to see her much, and I thought that her experiences would be a good basis for a book.

Another idea came from gathering some historical material at work last week. It was really fun and I had a chance to talk to Bob Bunn. I know that my boss has suggested that I might be helpful in coordinating a museum, but my interest really lies in writing a book about the family and company history. I think that I have earned the trust of the family, so maybe this could be a good way to remain engaged with out actually being in the office.

I still don't know how much I can work while trying to draw disability benefits, so I need to find this out. Somehow I feel that God is working to provide a new path for me.

Why I mentor

On and off for the last three years I've been mentoring a child at the local school district. I started out at a school on the East side, mentoring fifth-graders. It was an old-school and had a tricky set of steps to get out before entering. I had a different girl each year that I mentored, and the last girl wanted me to go outside and watched her jump rope every time I came. I just didn't feel like it mattered much or that my visits made much of a difference.

Last year, I decided to volunteer at a different school, one closer to my work and one that I could enter without going up steps. Accessibility is very important. I kind of had the mentoring thing figured out after having done it for a couple of years. The guidance counselor at the school matched me up with a girl who the counselor felt needed the extra attention. I began to meet with the girl over her lunch hour once a week.

I have really enjoyed forming a relationship with Maddy. When I started meeting with her, she was in first grade, and it was a challenge to try to find a place to meet with her. The school is so packed, there is nowhere for the mentors to go. We met at her classroom, but I felt like her teacher needed that time to herself. We met in an empty room, in the reading lab, and even on the stage in the gym. When it was nice, we sat on a bench outside the school to eat our lunches. Slowly, I began to get to know her and she began to get to know me. Now, midway through the second year that we have been meeting, she runs up to me and gives me a hug when she sees me coming to the lunchroom. That makes it so worthwhile to me.

I admit, I'm not a very emotional person, and that has hindered me in forming relationships. But Maddy seems to be forgiving, maybe because she really needs to have people who care about her. As I was leaving today, one of the lunch ladies stopped me and said. "You know, Maddy really looks forward to you coming." I told her that I got a lot out of the meetings as well, and it was true. It was a hassle to leave work today, go out into the rain, and go over to the school. But it was worth it to sit in the empty speech room, playing Uno with Maddy, seeing that it was probably a high point in her day. Maybe in mine too.

Maddy

Water and Fire website

Water and Fire now has a website (thanks to Eric Volkel-Barno). Check it out!

June 18 Reading at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library

Pretty exciting! I'll be reading excerpts from Water and Fire as part of a program on the 1908 Race Riot at 5 p.m., Wednesday, June 18. It's free!

Here's the news release.

SPRINGFIELD – A documentary on the 1908 Springfield Race Riot, “Springfield Had No Shame,” will be shown during a special program Wednesday, June 18 at 5 p.m. in the Multi-Purpose Room of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library. The program is part of the continuing education series for Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum volunteers, and is free and open to the public. A new volunteer orientation session will be held the previous evening at the Presidential Library.

The 30-minute film will be followed by several presentations relating to the Race Riot. Local singer/songwriter Chas Blythe will provide musical selections he has written about the riot. Author Melinda McDonald will read excerpts from her book Water and Fire, which focuses on a young woman, Sheba Tully, who is a maid for Susan Lawrence Dana and follows Sheba as she observes the events in Springfield leading up to the 1908 Race Riot. Author Dennis Camp will give a presentation on poet and author Vachel Lindsay and his relationship to the riot. Lindsay artifacts from the Presidential Library’s collection will be displayed during the evening.

The June 18 program is related to the exhibit, “Something So Horrible: The Springfield Race Riot of 1908” which opens June 14 at the Presidential Library.